It craves the symmetry of light
As spun into the cosmos’ wheel
Punctuating splintered night
And cracking open to reveal
This structure that the sight conceals
Stars bound to flesh in unity
And finds the form is made ideal
When broken down to energy.

Prompted by today’s FormForAll post from Gemma Wiseman on the Huitain at the dVerse Poets Pub. As always, I struggle with formalities. And rhyme. Hmmmm.

About Emily

I may or may not have: A. Dirt B. Ink C. Paint D. Wool under my fingernails.

17 responses to “Atomic”

  1. John (@bookdreamer) says :

    Interesting and unusual subject to explore.

  2. Mary says :

    I’m impressed with the subject matter and with the way you mastered the form!

  3. Gay Reiser Cannon says :

    Exquisite deconstruction with the pattern of the form – letting pattern reflect pattern where from the smallest bit to the shape of galaxies, the form winds within and without creating that “unseen” chain of order. Lovely in its essence and in its sound, rhyme and meter!

  4. brian miller says :

    oh enchanting….you played the form well and it works well with your content…seriously love the way you make this dance…esp the last three lines and breaking down to energy….

  5. Daydreamertoo says :

    Loved this line ‘Punctuating splintered night’
    and as Brian says the last three are fabulous. You nailed it 🙂

  6. pandamoniumcat says :

    Very clever, this weaves delightfully to the conclusion. Enjoyed this!

  7. Laurie Kolp says :

    Really nice… I enjoyed it.

  8. hypercryptical says :

    Very clever indeed and beautifully written.

    Anna :o]

  9. Mama Zen says :

    Really well done!

  10. Evelyn says :

    incredible, really. it seems to flow along, a lovely pace.

  11. Evelyn says :

    Also, love the title. perfect, perfect title.

  12. Patti says :

    I love this. It uses the form so effectively.

  13. Bodhirose says :

    It flows beautifully within the form and subject chosen…love that last line.

  14. Claudia says :

    so very clever… this is awesome… never had thought about such a topic for that form…really, really cool

  15. jessicamarie19 says :

    Punctuating splintered night – that is a great line!

  16. Uneven Stephen says :

    Excellent rhymes and flow throughout. Great job!

  17. Gemma Wiseman says :

    Love the idea of the smallest particle broken into energy! You have demonstrated the poetry of science!

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